What’s missing

Ever met someone who seem to insist on either ignoring a challenge altogether or refusing to talk about it under the cover of “why talk about something that’s negative – that won’t get you anywhere!”?

How many do you know who readily tell you about their dreams or changes they want to come true in their lives?

Why is it so difficult sometimes to admit that there are Gaps in our lives?

A Gap is a term to describe the distance between two places

Imagine standing next to someone on the street. Unless you’re lovers and closely entwined with one another, there is probably a gap between you made out of air. Between where you are and your favorite restaurant there is also a gap, one that you maybe need a car or some sort of transportation to travel.

A gap is just a way to describe the distance between two places. A Gap in itself is neither good nor bad but I’d say it can be defined in terms of distance such as “short” or “long”.

Apart from a physical gap in distance a gap can also be used to describe a change we want to come true; Then the gap is defined by the difference between how things are “right now” and how things are “when they are the way we want them to be”.

Why talk about Gaps in the first place?

Using the theory of Gaps is very powerful when it comes to motivation. Before you define a Gap in your life it can be difficult to move forward. On the other hand, when you’ve identified a Gap, you’ll have a clear understanding of the direction to go in which makes it so much easier to take those first steps.

You can’t measure the Gap between two unknown places nor between one known and one unknown. A Gap can’t be defined unless you know the starting point and the end point. So already in the identification of a Gap you’ve done some otherwise difficult work in defining both a starting point and a goal.

Do we want Gaps?

It can be difficult to admit that you are not currently living the life you want. Some people blame external events for holding them back. Some feel like failures and put the blame on themselves, forgetting that we all do the best we can with the resources we have in each moment.

If we keep defining Gaps as proof of our inadequacies, or of the unfairness of the world, we won’t want to accept nor look at them.

What would happen if you defined a Gap and declared it to your family and friends? Test yourself – does it make you anxious thinking about admitting that you’re not yet where you want to be in some area?

To be able to use the power of identifying Gaps we must first change the meaning of having them. What if Gaps were accepted as the norm? Something that every human being have? What if we talked about Gaps as something beautiful? Something to be proud of? A proof of your willingness to change and your strive to improve.

There is a huge difference to the feeling inside yourself, as well as to the people listening to you, in how you put words to your Gaps. Say these following sentences and notice how they make you feel.

Blaming: “I’m not where I want to be because of.. a, b,c “ Replace the a, b, c with something that could be made relevant from your life…. that accident/nonloving parents/the stock market/genes…

Aiming: “I want to make some changes in my life! I’m going to make.. x, y, z… come true“ Replace the x, y, z with something you wish to achieve.

Finding Gaps

Using Gaps is a shortcut, to the otherwise sometimes challenging work, to define both goals and roadmaps. A Gap will tell you where you are as well as where you want to go and therefore give you a good starting point to define an action plan.

So how do you find Gaps? Well no one knows your Gaps better than you and if you want to access even your subconscious to find the important ones then questions are the way to go!

Take out that pen and paper and start answering these questions:

• What is missing in my life?
• What would make my life a 10?
• Where am I right now in the most important areas of my life?
  • What would make each area even better?

Once you’ve identified some motivating Gaps it’s time to take the next step. Let’s talk about defining goals and closing Gaps in an upcoming blog post 🙂