Motivation

Humans can perform the most amazing feats. Build constructions that rival mountains, send people to the moon and create a way to connect people all over the world in an instant. Individuals have made gravity seam optional, composed music and created art that can move you beyond words and worked their gifts into levels of mastery. What is it that makes one human dedicate her life to mastering the world and another to fade quietly into history?

Spark the light of intrinsic motivation

I believe the motivation must come from the inside for someone to be able to reach mastery in any endeavor. I believe the foundations for intrinsic motivation is a growth mindset combined with the ability to break goals down into specific skills needed to achieve those goals.

So how do you motivate a child into intrinsic motivation? The idea sounds a contradiction in terms, right? There is off course many ways, one is to live these concepts yourself. How often do you define a new skill set or a knowledge gap you need to close and actively go after acquiring them?

Another way is to tell a story. Stories have a way of seeping into your subconscious without you even noticing it and children are especially susceptible to it.

Maybe you could sit down with your child and tell her/him the story of the treasure chest that you can find on MotherOfLions webpage. It’s written to spark imagination as well as inspire a drive for learning.

Your children want to please you

Humans have an inherent will to please those that are part of their tribe, family. It’s been a good strategy for survival to keep those around you happy with your presence. Children are especially susceptible to the opinion of their parents who they spend so much of their defining years closest to. So, kids are inclined to go to great length to please their parents.

That means that you can actually influence them very far when it comes to achieving goals. The possibility to earn your praise can give them enormous motivation. I bet you’ve seen people work their butts off trying to please this or that parent. High achievers that credit their parents’ tough love approach for giving the motivation needed for those long hours of hard work.

But I believe that nothing beats the kind of motivation that comes from the inside. The kind that is personal but based on a positive and pleasurable need and desire. When you really want something, for your own sake, you get an additional pull that will get you through even the toughest or most boring challenges that comes with going after important goals.

Progress is a key to motivation

Knowing that you’re “on your way towards something you want”, that you’re making progress, will often give you a really good feeling. You might have just started learning a new skill, still be at a true beginner level. You might even know how many grueling hours of practice you have in front of you now that you’ve gotten started and realized all the nuances needed. But having started and being aware of making progress gives you energy and power to continue.

Can you help your child define what skills she/he needs to learn to be able to do something she/he really wants to do? What does your child enjoy doing? Maybe drawing, writing, hanging out with friends, riding the bike, singing, skiing? Whatever it is, skills are a huge part of enjoying it fully. Mastery brings joy and confidence and also creates passion.

When you’ve identified a skill it’s time to break it down into learnable/practice’able pieces. There are elements to everything. My father has taught my daughters how to ice skate. He is a skilled skater himself but also a very good teacher. He is consciously aware of his knowledge and can translate it into itty bitty pieces of skills that are learnable. Getting the skates on, learning to stand up, learning to fall without hurting yourself to much, bending the knees, turning the feet just right when taking off… the list of details goes on and on.

Life is a game and it’s time to level up

If you can teach them the value of acquiring skills and help them break their personal dreams down into bite sized pieces they are well on their way to develop intrinsic motivation. Start with something relatively easy so they quickly realize it’s true that they have the ability to gain skills that are useful. Once you understand that everything you want is on the other side of figuring out what skills you need and going out to get it, life becomes a fun game 😊

Remember to role model this behavior for them as often as possible. If you haven’t learnt anything new lately maybe it’s time to rediscover the joy of challenging your body and brain. It’s scary sometimes but oh so worth it!