Have fun with your family
When did you last do something completely unexpected for your children? Having fun together is the absolutely best way I know to influence our family connection both in the short immediate situation but also in a longer perspective. I wish I had more fun with my daughters, in fact it’s been on my radar for a while and is now on my goals for this year – To laugh every day! 😀
Surprising the ones I care about is just about the thing I love the most. Wrapping Christmas gifts or planning a treasure hunt or planning for birthdays fills me with warmth, connection and .. well it might sound “Hallmark’y” but.. infinite gratitude!
Surprising the people you love
I once participated in a surprise “graduation celebration” for a beloved family member. She was retiring from her teaching career and we planned to kidnap her from the school in old school graduation ceremony manner when her last day was done. By chance she unknowingly escaped us and beat us home but we just brought the celebration to her house 😉 I still smile when I think about how much fun we had and how happy she got.
The most legendary surprise I’ve pulled of with my daughters was that day we went to the amusement park. On a school day! It was planned and I had even asked for formal leave from school so everything was approved. But my girls didn’t know that. In the morning I woke them up and we had breakfast as usual. When we went to put our clothes on to go to school I let them get half-dressed then said “You know what? I don’t feel like going to work today. What do you say, shouldn’t we go to the amusement park instead??” Their faces.. the BEST surprise ever! The blog photo is from that day. We had a beautiful day and we still talk about that memory.
Plan a “date” with your child
If you have more than one kid it’s sometimes hard to get quality time with them individually. I read Steven Coveys 7 Habits for successful Families a couple of years ago and have implemented one of the concept described there. To plan a solo-date with my children. At least once a year we decide on a date, plan for the other child to be with the other parent and start the planning. The idea is to plan for a day that that particular child will enjoy. Last time my youngest and I went swimming and then to a cafe to have some cake. My eldest and I went to the science fiction/fantasy bookstore and then went shopping for some clothes.
Remember to plan ahead so you can really clear your schedule and mind of other things. If you set a date then make sure that you don’t move it. Make this day important for you and it will be important for your child. It can truly be a close and warm experience if you give all your attention and take it seriously. Your child will feel important and seen.
Oh, and remember to focus on having fun and on the child that’s there. Don’t talk about siblings. Don’t give in to any impulse to use this close time for bringing up issues. If your child brings up something then listen and answer questions and give your full attention.
Laugh together
There’s a saying in Swedish that translates to “A good laugh will prolong your life”. Even if my daughters have given me some grey hairs and way too little sleep they’ve netted me many days on my life span. They make me laugh. They are so good at living in the moment and enjoying the now. My little mindfulness experts!
When I’m laughing it’s like I’m magnetic. Both my daughters are drawn to the sound of laughter. It’s not that strange when I think about it. I really enjoy hearing their bubbling laughter as well. We went to the movies just the other day to watch Ferdinand, the latest Disney movie. I must say I love how they always include little things in children’s movies for us adults. There was a dance show down at one point that had me gasping for air with laughter. I think I was enjoying it more than any of the kids there. 😀 We laughed a lot after the movie talking about different scenes and we’ve talked about that dance scene a number of times since last week.
How do you have fun with your family? Do you plan surprises? Let me know in the comments below. Share the joy!
