Following your truth will lead you to your tribe
Have you found your tribe? The people that will support you, push you and see you both for the perfect work in progress that you are and as the person you are becoming.
Do you realize how huge this planet really is? We are about 7.6 billion people living here. That means that pretty much anything you think you are unique about is probably not that unique. Your problems, your quirks, your passions.. you can be sure that there are a huge number of people that share them. I think that is kind of reassuring. It means everyone has a potential tribe out there. Did you know that if you google ”Fishing hat” you get over 43 million hits? If you narrow the search to say ”Fishing hat with lures” you will still get over 9 million results! Search for “pink pants with white polka dots” – results 7 million…
Stay true to your act
This summer I read the book Linchpin by Seth Godin. In one of the chapters Seth writes about focusing on your truth instead of trying to please others.
He explains it so well in visualizing us as street performers. Think about it, a street performer doesn’t run after the people who chooses to walk past or trying to adjust his show to fit them. As a street performer you pick your stage and you deliver your act. You focus on getting better and better and on the value you bring. You will get immediate feedback in terms of how many people you manage to get to stay and watch and you focus on getting so good that people will stay. And some people will – the ones who appreciate your show, your act. The ones who trigger on the same things as you do. These are the people you want to pick your tribe from.
Believe me – your unique tribe is out there! Follow your heart, your inner voice and be who you are. You will find people out there to match you on all levels.
Contributing tribe members
There is a famous quote from Jim Rohn that states “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with”. Who are you hanging out with? What is the level of happiness they express, their mental state, how healthy are they, how are their finances, what impact are they having on the world around them, how much fun are they having?
What kind of friends, family members and co-workers are influencing you? Are you aware of it? Do you think the quote could be right? Are you at about the average level in all essential areas in your life compared to the five people you’re surrounded by? How are they influencing you and how are you contributing to them? Are you supporting each other and keeping each other accountable to the goals and dreams you’ve stated?
Noone but you need to understand your journey
Sometimes you will find that there are people in your tribe that shouldn’t be part of the five important ones. You’ve unwittingly given the right to influence you to someone who maybe isn’t going in the direction you want to go. Sometimes there are people that, for whatever reason, can’t be happy for you right now.
You know that kind of person you have to shelter/protect your ideas from? The one who asks too many detailed questions even when you’re just at the start, the one who tells you stories about how others have tried something similar but failed or just gives you the silent treatment with an occasional “Huh, I see” or a halfhearted “Sounds interesting, good luck”.
The five most influential people in your child’s tribe
If you look at the quote from your child’s perspective, who are the five most influential people? Up to around twelve you as the parent will definitely have a spot on that quintet. What about the closest friends at school? Other relatives? Siblings?
How do the five people your child spend the most time with impact her/him? Does your child feel safe, inspired, are they having fun together? Is there someone you would like to introduce to the company to nudge your child towards something new?
I met a mother at the playground where our children were playing one summer. They had just moved to a new neighborhood where the average salary was significantly higher than where they’d lived before. They wanted to make sure their children were surrounded by people who were part of a high-income bracket.
What tribes are you part of?
I’m a huge believer in creating awareness and the power to change once you know where you are currently. Would you like to know who the 5 most influential people are in your life?
Take out a pen and paper and write down the answers to the following questions;
- Who would you ask for help before making a life changing decision?
- Who do you want to call when you have good news to share?
- Who knows secrets about you that you don’t share with anyone?
- Who would you be afraid to let down?
- Who do you want to be proud of and/or impressed by you?
These are the people you probably let influence you the most.
Are they the people you want to influence you?
Look at each in turn and ask yourself:
- Is that person happy?
- Is that person knowledgeable in the areas I let them influence me?
- How do I feel when I’ve spent time with that person?
If you realize that you’ve promoted someone undeserving of tribe member status, then it’s time to make a change. You don’t have to exclude anyone from your life, you just need to reclaim the authority of impacting your feelings and/or actions.
Maybe you realize you have an amazing tribe around you – if you do then CELEBRATE them! Thank them and celebrate them and make sure that you contribute to them as much as they do to you.
